JCBC Films have
been commended and honoured in many
countries and at many film festivals.
Best Hygiene – Sundance Film
Best Goal – World Cup Finals,
Best Breath – The Oscars
Best Attempt (Latin American Section)
The Lifetime Achievement Award –
Bolton Mecca Bingo Hall
2008 - Best
Fight (Jamie Vrs Lady Pensioner) –
Special Mention for Smell (Blaine)
– Wigan Clinic
Funniest Film Award Not In The English
- Part 2”) – The Sarcastic
film Awards, Dave’s bedroom.
Most Harrowing Sucide Attempt (Blaine)
– Chelmsford Weekly News
3rd place – sack race (Jamie)*
– Cleethorpes Primary School
Nobel Prize for Advocacy (sponsored
by Nelson Mandela) – Cape Town
* Under investigation
† Withdrawn immediately and
the prize shut down forever.
JCBC Films have also enjoyed some
very special notices. Here is a snapshot
for your eyes to look at;
May they die.
Let them die slowly. Oh God. Never
The News Of The World
think it was too bad until my wife
stabbed me and walked out with the
a capital T. And if you didn’t
get that, don’t worry, because
that’s how I felt too.
passed to Gallagher on the wing. Gallagher
beat two men, then looked up and spotted
the run by Robert Lee. Just as he
was about to release the ball, two
idiots ran onto the pitch with JCBC
Films T-Shirts on. I’m delighted
to report that they received a strong
and substantial kicking from the Police
and were left to die behind the goals
as the game continued.
for sale. Blade needs sharpening.
Will accept £10 ono. Apply JCBC
We are from
England and have come to your country
for political reasons. Imagine our
disgust when we were pelted with stones
after we tried to endear ourselves
to your indigenous people by sacrificing
animals to your God at a children’s
party we stumbled upon. We have never
felt so humiliated when your people
shouted “Killers!” “Murderers”
at us. We left England to escape this
kind of abuse. Please ask your people
to show us more respect in future,
or we’ll murder the whole bloody
lot of you.